transition

one week up; it has been quite the momentum breaker - quite the words for this transition, huh? i do not see myself doing this for years as they say...one thing good is i don't have to worry about being laid off from this full time position...i have health insurance and benefits for myself and my children; making more money than before since graduating from architecture school, have an office with a 4th level view; was provided with a full express bus/light rail monthly pass, and will be given a business credit card - SO WHY AM I UNHAPPY IN SPIRIT AND EMOTION!! well, perhaps i grew up in a for profit structure..and that's all i know...i was at the road of readying for creative future...yet that is on a pause - i have to say i do have time to prepare and continue with my ARE Exams! almost there! that is my highest priority and continue to prepare for what i envision a wonderful practice which will become real in 2012....just as i noted in my business plan...i do miss my friends and colleauges -they have been quite supportive...the family has as well -though my emotional connection marriage to my life partner my wife is very much a deep connection..if not the deeper of my beings... we are two yet one yet really we are two minds with different lines...i feel so bad it has come to a point where understanding and communications (and mis-commmunication) are grounds for friction..say i am not good enough...my honesty is not enough...is there really a god; perhaps...yet my faith and belief has not change...i believe in something....and its that slightest belief that keeps me going and gives me the joy things (not everything) will be quite okay....you know what i mean...simplicity is real to me...