b i r t h d a y

november 28 - 5:42 am...at the moment...preparing to enter echo's terrain - days are filled with plenty...having dinner was excellent -plenty of family...i missed my family back home..they had a big one in window rock - i talked to mom and trish daily...they said my aunt marie and pat were there as well as ben's family; my uncle john - mom seem quite content with the annual moment though was fighting a ugly cold...and dad, i guess he wanted to rest...he was tired and still suffering from the wounds of much...i felt for him...and could only wish and pray he presses forward as he has done the last decades...i am in awe at what he has done for my sister's and i - he is quite the strength...something i found in my late grandmother, mary. trish was energetic talking about all the good fixings they prepared...and as expected...folks were asking about jr. she said sonjia is doing well too in las vegas - they had little dinner with her family..and told trish she had to get up by 4:30am to get to work...she works at vic secrets as a manager...she had to get there early to prepare for the wave of shoppers! our little get together had a similar setting though i missed mom's bread and some native foods! believe me - i could do anything for a piece of sheep meat wrapped in tortilla bread...hmm...carm's sister and her sister's friend came by...and the many kids! the 20 pounder sufficed! it came out nice and juicy...breanna came back on tuesday too! i picked her up at the airport...i was happy though i was still jolted on her gesture and actual move to relocate back to the valley and not finish up at ua....i was so upset though i can't really express only i dont want to repeat what we went through the last year ...its just so upsetting to see her momentum halt ...yet perhaps its 'my momentum' in her that needs to be removed and let her move on (minus me)...her mom supports her fully and thats good..at this time - i need to support her (even thought i think about the scholarships she will lose not to mention the big loan debt she will be in :(...what has led to this...are we relieving ourselves in our children's footsteps? i sure hope she find the inner strength to relize what all the talks were about...as a parent that is toughest to see...well for me it is...i wanted to do her best and get to a point where she will understand and become who she wants to be...i didn't want her to repeat what i;'ve been through because that was a rough road and a big challenge...it took plenty to get where i needed to be..i was a rez kid who went to big city and fell...then i went back to the rez to find myself and then i was ready...
oh yeah...we also celebrated trevor's birthday..i guess in the 'chaos', baby forget her son's birthday...so we wished him a birthday and ate a quick cake...i try not to forget birthdays! mom's birthday is next week and yeah there are plenty of bday(s) in between...breannna's birthday is next month too! i wonder what to get her... got to go...later rb

d a r k n e s s

darkness has a certain light to it...

echo canyon

the trail...send me there under cover -

Thoughts of much circulate the sphere…thinking plenty lately, the last half of year is filled with much…sometimes it can be a emotional staccato jolt -other times the joys and laughter of moments make the world of it…after all we all share this crazy yet livable world together – the revealing nature of one’s character is honesty; sometimes I am reluctant to see that or I would revert the mirrored self only to find out it could potentially be late or behind an hour. I wonder about my family much…I am living with them and you could say without them in way that is quite parallel and un-parallel…holidays seem to bring out something…I have a tendency to get carried away with thoughts but sometimes I do and maybe it’s okay too! I don’ really see my parents that much during a course of a year – I miss them sometimes only because when times get rather chaotic, I typically revert to memory…I remember the safety and comfort they provide…I ask myself and the higher power please let me have that feeling back or better yet give me the strength to create the same feeling for all my children…give me strength and I will give something this world has yet to rely on… today mom called this morning and we talked about the many little things..i told her we will not be coming home this next week…I think she understood yet we always seem to come back for this time…family and family friends will be asking for us…time will tell...yesterday brings tomorrow...I have been so busy with much the last few weeks Work is good…busy with CREST and marketing…good to see folks at Greenbuild, AIA Affiliates dinner was fun.,studying and more studying..i seem to always be doing that…running with the Team Chances has been great when I have time…nevertheless my training is going well…our sewer is fixed…finally! rb

n o v e m b e r r a i n

When I look into your eyes I can see a love restrained But darlin' when I hold you Don't you know I feel the same' Cause nothin' lasts forever And we both know hearts can change And it's hard to hold a candle In the cold November rain We've been through this Such a long long time Just tryin' to kill the pain Yeahh..But lovers always come And lovers always go And no one's really sure Who's lettin' go todayWalking awayIf we could take the time To lay it on the lineI could rest my headJust knowin' that you were mineAll mineSo if you want to love meThen darlin' don't refrainOr I'll just end up walkin'In the cold November rainDo you need some timeOn your ownDo you need some timeAll aloneEverybody needs some timeOn their ownDon't you know you need some timeAll aloneI know it's hard to keep an open heartWhen even friends seem out to harm youBut if you could heal a broken heartWouldn't time be out to charm youSometimes I need some timeOn my own Sometimes I need some timeAll aloneEverybody needs some timeOn their ownDon't you know you need some timeAll aloneAnd when your fears subsideAnd shadows still remainI know that you can love meWhen there's no one left to blameSo never mind the darknessWe still can find a way'Cause nothin' lasts foreverEven cold November rainDon't ya think that you Need somebodyDon't ya think that you Need someoneEverybody needs somebodyYou're not the only oneYou're not the only oneDon't ya think that you Need somebodyDon't ya think that you Need someoneEverybody needs somebodyYou're not the only oneYou're not the only oneDon't ya think that you Need somebodyDon't ya think that you Need someoneEverybody needs somebodyYou're not the only oneYou're not the only oneDon't ya think that youNeed somebodyDon't ya think that youNeed someoneEverybody needs somebody

day of days

my time to expend energy is here...i am so appalled about how the new house is structured on paper...physically, i can tell it has nice facelift yet underneath& beyond the 'beauty' lies many unforeseen monsters...i am beginning to see who i am under these circumstances...cause i certainly know who i dealing with and what kind of people they are...

i am built for this?

rb